When u...........

At the time I often wonder why life deal me the cards that I was dealt. I mean it made me stronger or really is it killing me softly. When I though that everything in my life was perfect, complete and I was am happy with that special person and thought it may had been you. I thought there was omeone or something out to defeat my happiness whether it’s girl, dude, or just conflict of interest. You made me happy and you also completes me. I had one question to myself why did I say something that I know I was going to regret within ten minutes. As you notice I couldn’t say it verbally because I didn’t mean it I only can say things verbally that I mean. Sunday September 13, 2007 will be one of the worst memorable days of my life. That morning when I woke up I felt worthless, lost, confused, and dead. Then I felt as though I can’t do anything right in life whether it’s was playing basketball, having you as the love of my life or just being happy. I HATED the fact that you call me your “BESTFRIEND”. It made me sick to my stomach that you didn’t call me your baby, daybreak, or your husband. I couldn't hardly fall asleep without crying myself to sleep. Today at school I started going threw my pictures of you and tears started to pour from my eyes. If I had one wish I would use it now to turn back the hands of time so we could be in our relationship and be a happy couple. I am sorry for not letting you handle this situation but instead I had to act like a jackass and get stupid. I felt less then I man right now because I didn’t stay true to my word by not letting you handle your own things.i thought that i was your knight and amour. Everything I had said to you wasn’t bullshit it all came from my heart whether you believe me or not. I didn’t play any games with with you I don’t have time for that I’m not a little kid anymore. I don’t want you to think that I gave you up I just had a moment where you didn’t tell me what was going on and a lot of thing went threw my head, But at the same time you knew that I didn’t like him from the jump why did you put yourself in that situation also why wouldn’t you give me his number. I was only going to tell him to leave you the HELL alone because obviously he don’t listen to you. I do really care about what goes on in your world that why I always call and text you. When I say that I’m sorry I am so so….. damn serious you was the best thing that happen to me since my grandmother.